What can flowers teach us about boundaries?

What can flowers teach us about boundaries?

 Today I bumped into an acquaintance I’m quite fond of, who was holding a bouquet of flowers. Of course, I shared how beautiful they were, and I quickly noticed a tinge of discomfort. She mentioned they were from her somewhat recent ex-boyfriend with whom she was dating for 2+years. It appears that he continues to send her flowers quite often, despite her repeated requests that he stop. They are a painful reminder of the relationship that needed to end, the temporary loss of a dream, and the tainting association of something usually quite joy-provoking. While we were talking, many others passed and commented on the flowers, thinking how lucky, fortunate or how much joy she’s receiving from them.
However, at times, reality hits hard. Many times, whether within a relationship, or upon its ending, being clear, honest and forthcoming about one’s needs and expectations to one’s partner, can be extraordinarily challenging. It takes courage, sometimes tremendous courage. I gently inquired if she indicated her discomfort to her ex, and repeated her request for him to cease and desist, this time more firmly. She hadn’t, for many reasons – I suspect guilt about being the “terminator,” fear of hurting him further, minimizing to herself (her own feelings) how much seeing those flowers (every 2 weeks) truly distressed her.
When it comes to setting boundaries with others, there are often many dragons to slay to get up the moxy, hutspa, garbanzos – to do it. I suggested she contact the florist, explain the situation, and ask them to discontinue all future flower deliveries by this sender. She appeared wide-eyed, with a mixed look of surprise and relief, and then, why not?
A workplace example of this is a co-worker or family member who repeatedly interrupts you throughout the day with questions or to just chat. While recently attending a professional conference, a colleague shared an uncanny story about just this. A co-worker was planning her wedding, and for 6 months, family members and the wedding planner inundated her with calls. This resulted in a gradual, but significant decline in her performance with a probationary consequence. One effective strategy to address this is to give family members and others a specific day(s)/time(s) during which they can call. Any other time, you are unavailable, and will not answer the phone. After 2-3 weeks of consistently responding only during set times, the unintentionally distracting phone calls will stop.

Psychologists often work with individuals to identify and set clear and firm boundaries at home, at work, and with themselves. It isn’t easy, but the rewards are incredible – increased energy, self and other-respect, greater time for oneself, and an age-defying benefit- looking years (often 5-10) younger. You never would have believed it, until you see for yourself. Yes, good nutrition and exercise are very important and help us defer the visible signs of aging. However, don’t’ underestimate the transformative power of good, consistent relationship boundaries – it’ll do wonders for your complexion, not to mention your overall quality of life. Experiment, have fun with it, take a risk, and set a boundary today, then watch closely and see what happens.

We at May Flower do receive such instances and there are those who order flowers online that are not wanted and the best way to deal with it is to inform the sender regarding the non acceptance and thus hereby solving matters that would be discomforting!

Valentines Flowers

Valentines Flowers

Heart is the most common shape and look for a Valentines, and even candles, candies, cookies, cakes, figurines, stuffed images, etc.  The heart is a symbol both of love and also vulnerability.

When you send someone a Valentine, you take a risk of being rejected and your feelings hurt.  So a piercing arrow is a symbol of death and the vulnerability of love.  On the other hand, the heart and arrow also symbolize the merging of the male and female as one.
In the 12th century, physicians believed that the heart was the seat of love and affection in the human body. But the actual biologicial shape of the human heart does not look like the heart as we see it today. Why?  Well, some people are guessing (and it is funny!) that the Valentine heart-shape as we know it today was done by a doodler to represent the human female buttocks or a female torso with well-endowed breasts or the imprint of lips (wearing lipstick) made upon a piece of paper.  Once again, it’s all on how you want to spin the story! 🙂

Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve?

This expression comes from  early 1800’s where young American and British men wore slips of paper pinned to their sleeves  with their girlfriend’s name written on.  They did this for several days (why and when I have no clue) and so it started the expression “wearing one’s heart on one’s sleeve.”
Today the American Heart Association in the US has a “Save a Sweet Heart” anti-smoking campaign during Valentine’s Week to help educate school kids against smoking.

Lovebirds

As I mentioned above, it was believed that birds chose their mates on February 14.  And so the dove was chosen to be the bird representative because it was sacred to the Roman Goddess Venus because it chose a lifelong mate.  They also make a cooing sound, which further proved they were the love couple. The dove was also a sacred bird to the Goddess, Venus (and other Love Deities).  And Noah had considered the dove to be his messanger. In the Song of Solomon, the word “Turtle” is really referring to the “turtledove.” The turtledove is common in Asia and Europe, but it is not found in N. America at all. Since all doves are part of the pigeon family, they mate for life, and the male and female both share in the caring of their young.  Their bcooing sounds are often considered “love sounds” and today it is often said that when people in love talk rather sugary and baby-like it is “cooing” with each other.
Dove superstitions are that they were magical and were often used to divine the future.  The heart of a dove was often an ingredient in love potions.  If you saw a white dove fly overhead it was suppose to be good luck. If you dreamt of a dove it was a sign that you had a promise of happiness. And, if you saw the first dove in Springtime, made a wish, that wish would come true (much like wishing upon a falling star.)
But during the years, love birds have changed from Doves to hummingbirds to birds of paradises.  Today, love birds depcited on Valentines are tiny parrots brilliant in color because genetically they really are in the parrot family. They often act like young lovers also. How? They are known for living in pairs and keeping to themselves, much like young lovers want their privacy today. As pets they are considered loveable, easy to tame and respond to affection.  Some can even be taught to speak.
The bad side of lovebirds is that they can carry a disease harmful to humans. And so, there are strict rules regarding importing them into the United States.

Valentine Cards

The custom of exchanging love notes goes back to the Roman  Lupercalia festival with the names being drawn.  But the British were the ones who popularized sending your feelings to someone via a printed card.  The first Valentine card was created by Chrles, Duke of Orleans, imprisoned in the tower of London for several years following the Battle of Agincourt in 1415.  he sent Valentine poems to his wife in France from his jail cell.  Commercial Valentines didn’t apepar until 1800 (In England) and although handmade cards had been around for years.  Inthe 19th century a new kind of Valentine emerged called “penny dreadfuls” that were insulting and cruel rather than loving and flattering.  They were mostly sent anonymously too.
In America, hand-made Valentines appeared around 1740 and were sealed with red wax and left secretly on a lover’s doorstep (or sent in the mail).  Commercial cards for the most part took over around 1880’s. But people still (and will always) make homemade ones too.  Some included trinkets, some locks of hair and in some cases there were checks that were drawn against “The Bank of Love” and valentines printed to look like money.  One was so realistic to a 5 pound note it was quickly recalled!
Valentine verses were romantic, whimsical and critical. As I mentioned above, postage was expensive.  And during the English Victorian times the custom was that the recipient paid for the mail they got (not the sender as we do it today).  So you can imagine what a double insult it was to pay for a Valentine only to open it up and discover it is critical aka “Vinegar Valentine.”
Walter Crane and Kate Greenaway were famous children’s book illustrators of their time. At the age of 22, Kate sold her first Valentine design for $15.  Within weeks, over 25,000 copies were sold.  For a few years after, she kept designing Valentines, but was never paid a penny more.  Today, Kate Greenaway Valentine’s are considered collectable items, as well as those designed by Walter Crane.
When Valentine Cards got to America, they also got more creative. The first known to come to the US is a note written by John Winthrop in 1629 to his wife before leaving England for the New World.  It ended with “My sweet wife, Thou must be my valentine for none hat challenged me.”  He later became governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony.

Valentines were not only done in delicate pen and ink, but also watercolor and the handwriting also became a thing of beauty for the card as well, as good penmanship was considered a form of art, as well as the quality of a person.

Roses

Flowers were considered love tokens before there even was a St. Valentines.  The Roman God, Bacchus (God of Wine and Joy) and Venus (Goddes of Love and Beauty) both considered the beauty and fragrance of flowers to be tied with romance and love.  But since the time of Solomon, the primary flower linked to romance was always the rose.  Cleopatra of Egypt covered the floor with roses before receiving Mark Anthony.
A Roman myth is that Cupid was carrying a vase of sweet nectar to the gods on Mt. Olympus and spilled it on the ground.  From that spot of spilled nectar, roses grew!
But if roses are so symbolic of romance and love, then why the thorns?  Well, another story goes like this:
The soft west wind named Sephyr one day opened a lovely rose and Cupid bent over to kiss the elegant petals.  When he did, he ws stung by an irate bee hiding inside.  Venus got so angry she told Cupid to shoot some bees and string them up on one of his arrows.  She then planted this string of dead bees on the rose stems, and the stings became the rose’s thorns and ever since roses had thorns.
The ancient Romans also believed that anything discussed under a rose (I mean how low can you go to talk?) was considered sub rosa and to be kept secret.  Today the Latin term is still used today to express something that is to be kept confidential.
Another Roman theory is that the Rose reminded the Roman Catholic Church of watching Christians devoured by lions. Later on, the Virgin Mary was called “The Rose of Heaven.”

Daisies, Violets and Bachelor Buttons

There are a few other flowers considered to be romantic also.
The Romans believed that the daisy was once a wood nymph.  One day, while dancing in a field she was seen by Vertumnus, the God of Spring (who fell in love with her of course).  But when he reached for her she got frightened. So, out of pity the other gods let her sink into the earth and she became a daisy.
I do not know how the game of holding a daisy and plucking off it’s petals saying “He loves me” or “He loves me not” got started.
As far as Violets go….one day it is said that Venus got jealous of a group of beautiful maidens.  And when Cpid refused to say that his mother’s beauty was better than theirs, Venus go furious, so she beat her rivals (these maidens) until they were blue and she watched them shrink into violets.
In the Science of Botany, the cornflower is known as Kyanus, named after a Greek youth who was born in a field one day, making garlands of the blue blossoms for the altar of Flora, Goddess of Flowers.  He died, unfortnately, leaving some of the garlands undone and so this touched Flora’s heart and so in his honor she named the flowers after him.

Say It With Flowers…

 This is most commonly known slogan today.
But what to say and with what flower?

Here are some traditional meanings for some other flowers often sent for Valentine’s Day or other touching moments:

Bleeding Heart

Hopeless, but not heartless.

Gardenia

I love you secretly.

Gladiolus

You pierce my heart.

Lily-of-the-Valley

Let us make up.

Rose

I love you passionately.

Sweet William

You are gallant, suave and perfect.

Violet

I return your love.

Green

Green leaves represented hope in a love affair. (Often rumored to be the reason why British girls sprinkled bay leaves  with rose water and put them on their pillows on Valentine’s Day Eve. They wanted to see their loved one in their dreams.)

Valentine’s Day Expense

 According to the CBS Morning News (2/10/13), only 59.8% will celebrate Valentines Day this year spending an average of $130.97.
And, how will they do it?  $18.6 will be spent on cards and gifts.  With $10 billion spent for someone close.  $3 billion spent on friends and other acquaintances. And, $5.6 billion on pets!
51% buy cards
36.6% buy flowers
19.7% buy jewelry
(Note: This doesn’t count for those who get 2 or all 3 of the above also.)

Where do most of us shop for our Valentine’s Day items?

39.6% will shop at a discount store
26.3 % will shop on-line

To order flowers online, visit Mayflower.in

Deliver Fresh and Cost Effective Flowers To Mumbai

Deliver Fresh and Cost Effective Flowers to Mumbai

If you are making the plan to deliver someone lilies, roses, gerberas, orchids, daisies, carnations, pansies or other gorgeous and beautiful flowers directly to the house of your dearest and nearest one, it is always superior for taking the benefit of online flowers to Mumbai or India services. Many online florist shops send unique ranges of plants as well. May Flower is amongst the best for the delivery services in this industry. The nature of flowers is fragile, they are very soft and flowers cannot bear any stresses. and so, you can imagine delivering the flowers to a long distance can be tricky. For this you must have to be very selective florist for delivering the flowers and thru May Flower, sending bouquets has become now a very simple and easy task for all the individuals living around the globe. You can also deliver fresh and beautiful flowers to Mumbai to your dearest and nearest one to say your emotions and feelings with flowers.

With the assistance of online flower delivery service, the process of sending flowers has become easier and it’s no matter, where your relatives or friends and family are located. Moreover, the appearance of many online florists has given the enhancement to online delivery of fresh flowers. Our love is just like flowers and flowers are lovely; there is no cause to disagree with this famous phrase of S.T. Coleridge. Even the most mechanical human being cannot disregard the artistic appeal of a fresh flower. Now with the passage of time and with the increasing awareness, flowers are becoming the all time favorite gift of so many women to receive especially during special and remarkable events like Christmas, Wedding Anniversary, Birthday’s or even Valentines Day.

When you’re searching or looking for a good and well reputed flower delivery company, majority of the people prefer to go online first.

It’s very simple and easy to do a quick search for a local florist for delivering the flowers to Mumbai or other parts of India but it’s also very important to know or keep in mind that you should always do the flower shopping from the well reputed florist so that you can have complete confidence in the service that they are offering. May Flower has become a strong and perfect choice for the people around the world to deliver the online flowers to Mumbai. Nature planned us, and all the humans to love the flowers of all types. In fact gardens are worldwide cultured to allow everyone to observe the stunning offerings of nature. On a trail of nature, walking in the park or forest one can observe the wild flowers and different and beautiful varieties of flora and fauna. Everybody surely likes flowers when they are beautiful and fresh, it’s important and essential that you must learn how to order from flower delivery companies, May Flower offers expertise in how to use the flowers of different varieties and create stunning bouquets and offer a very quick and fast flower order and delivery system. So place your order and get online delivery of flowers from well reputed florist.

 

Flower Of the Month – January

Flower Of The Month – January – Carnations

There are specific flowers which are traditionally given according to the month that a person is born. The January Birth Flower is the Carnation.

The History and traditions surrounding the January Birth Flower, the Carnation is fascinating. There are many myths and legends about the origins of this tradition. It is believed that birthday celebrations originated in the Roman Empire and the origins of birth month flowers, such as the Carnation,  could be said to date back to these times. During Roman birthday celebrations family and friends offered congratulations and brought gifts. The gifts included gemstone jewellery, such as the Garnet, and also flowers – the first traditions and origins of the January Birth Flower.

The language of flowers developed during the highly conservative period of the Victorian era. The Victorians were strongly restricted by the rules of etiquette when it was considered totally inappropriate to express feelings of love or affection. The “Language of Flowers” therefore evolved when a message was assigned to specific flower such as the Carnation. A lover could then send flowers which conveyed a hidden romantic meaning.

The meaning of the Birth Flower, the Carnation is love, fascination, and distinction.The hidden message of the Birth Flower, the Carnation, so favored during the Victorian era varied according to color:

Color Red – My Heart Aches For You
Color Pink  – I’ll Never Forget You
Color Yellow – You Have Disappointed Me
A striped carnation conveyed the secret message – I Wish I Could Be With You

The colors of the January Flower, the Carnation, include the following:

Pink
Red
White
Yellow
Green
All over the World people give Birth Month Flowers as gifts to celebrate special occasions or events. Flowers, such as the Carnation, are always given to celebrate the birth of a new baby and included in wedding flowers or a wedding bouquet. Many people also like to give January Birth Flower, including the Carnation, to celebrate special events at different times and months of the year and especially during holiday periods. Knowing the flowers which are associated with the January Birth Flower and their meaning adds to the significance of the flowers. The special events where it would be appropriate to give the January Birth Flower, the Carnation are as follows:
Month of January Flowers, the Carnation or Snowdrop, to celebrate New Year’s Day, Epiphany (12 days after Christmas), Martin Luther King’s birthday on the third Monday in January and even Golf Day on January 17.

Definition of the Carnation

Definition of the Carnation: A Eurasian plant with pink to purple-red spice-scented usually double flowers; widely cultivated in many different varieties and colors

The scientific name of a flower species is formed by the combination of two terms: the genus name and the species descriptor in the case of the carnation the Dianthus caryophyllus.
The January Birth Flower, the Carnation is also called clove pink and gillyflower
The flower has been cultivated for the last 2,000 years
The name “carnation” is derived from the words “coronation” or the Greek word “corone” (meaning flower garlands)
Carnation is also the name of an American city located in King County, Washington.
For more information and get birthday flowers delivery online, visit us at Mayflower.in